Spotless

That's the word used to describe the home of an impeccable housekeeper--spotless. We've all heard it before: "She's amazing! She volunteers in the classroom, runs two successful businesses, cooks fabulous dinners every night, makes holiday-themed crafts with her children each week, and keeps her house spotless." Not a bad thing to work toward. That sounds pretty great to me.

Okay, so I tried. I would get up early in the morning and do an "initial straighten" (still do), and then the rest of the day would be spent "spotless-ing" my house. I kept a swiffer by the refrigerator so all smears on the floor could be immediately wiped, I put Clorox wipes in every cupboard of my entire home so I would be prepared for any smudges my children would inflict upon our castle, I invested in those Pledge dusters like they were first-time offerings of Google stock, and I would go through my days at attention--waiting on my toes for those darn spots to appear. I was determined to conquer them all.

When the children wanted a snack? "Eat it outside." I'd remind them. Mealtime as a family? I intended on spending time talking about our day, world events, Socrates, Ptolemy, and other topics that would boost their SAT scores, but what ended up coming out of my mouth was, "Everyone eat OVER your plates. Two hands on your cups. If you drop it, pick it up." If someone asked me to play a game with them, I would hesitate as I analyzed how much of a mess it was going to make.

I'm speaking in past-tense here, but some of this actually happened yesterday. Today's a new day (smile)! No one wants to live in a pig sty. Being in a clean home is a lovely feeling, after all. But at the same time, when PEOPLE live in a home, it will not look like a model. I haven't completely conquered my obsession with a spotless house, but I have come a long way in the past year or so. I've gone from being stressed about the house on a regular basis to "trying to keep a clean house but realizing it's not the most important thing in the world." That has been huge for me, and here's how I got there.

One morning, I sat down to study the scriptures, and I asked myself, "What am I most concerned about right now?" The first answer that popped into my head was, "I'd like a spotless home." (I know, sounds kind of petty). So I decided to read in the scriptures about how to get one. I turned to the Topical Guide and found the word "spotless," but what I found didn't match up with what I had thought.

The Topical Guide lists six scriptures that use the word spotless (a search on http://www.lds.org/ reveals 32 references, total). The surprise? Not one of those scriptures refers to keeping a home spotless. Not one. We are to keep our souls spotless, our garments spotless (I don't think it's referring to the laundry, here), and the kingdom of God spotless. We want to return to Him pure and spotless, and stand before Him, cleansed through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

As I read these things and pondered what they meant, I realized that that is truly what matters. Cleanliness and order are important in a home, but spotlessness? Not really. If I am upset with my children or frustrated with my husband because they are "messing up" the house, then something's wrong. Obviously, mothers only have so much energy, and everyone needs to work together to keep the home tidy, but it's all right for us to LIVE in our homes.

What I am trying to do now is this: when I see something that clearly will not pass the spotless standard, I squash the initial impulse to run to the cleaning-supply shelf, I assess the relative importance of the disorderliness, and then I make a decision as to whether it really requires my immediate attention. I try to enjoy the moments with my family and treasure the experiences we're having together--the hugs, the growth, the smiles.... Then I remind myself of what REALLY needs to be spotless, and I think of my life--the way I treat my family, the way I judge (or hopefully don't judge) others, my ability to forgive immediately, how much faith I have in the Lord, and how the only thing that really matters to Him is that I replace my will with His.

He is so powerful, so forgiving, so willing to teach us. I hope that as I look back on my life as a mother, I will remember the Spirit we felt in our homes. I want it to be clean, but I don't need it to be spotless.