Things are busy nowadays with four children, and I didn't feel like planning a big party, so we made up a batch of cupcakes, decorated them with some leftover Valentine's Day sprinkles, and, after a little afternoon nap, we headed over to our local water park with some friends.
I really can't explain what a fun day this was. Spencer (crawling up there in the middle) loves this park--he doesn't mind the water in his face one bit. The children all ran around and had a wonderful time, and not one of them complained about the sprinkles, the lack of decor, or the overall simplicity of the party. We have a really good group of families in our neighborhood--everyone was totally fine with me taking the simple route. 
Spencer devoured his cupcake and enjoyed hanging out with his Dad. Such a fun way to celebrate a whole year of Spencer.
Some people really like planning parties--and that is great. I love attending those parties! I just appreciate having the choice to go simple and not having to feel like I am letting my child down.
I'm reading a book right now called Perfect Madness. It's quite the book...gets you thinking. She quotes a woman who was stressed about her son's fourth birthday party:
"First, there was the whole debate about whether to have the whole class or just a few friends. Then there was the whole debate about whether to do the party at home or whether to go to some place that does package deals. If we stayed home, would we have the magician, the clown, the musician, the Moon Bounce?...I felt great angst about whether this measured up. How would the other mothers judge me for the decisions I made and would I be labeled in some negative way?...On the morning of the party, my stress was all about how our deck needed to be refinished, the flower beds needed to be edged and weeded, and I didn't have the perfect "mother of the birthday boy" sweater to throw on over my jeans so that I looked chic yet casual." (p.42)
The author, Judith Warner, submits that we are foolish and caught up in trivialities, and we need to give ourselves a break "because our trivia isn't really, at base, so very trivial. It is a screen for bigger, more unsayable thoughts: Am I good enough? Do I matter? Are we rich enough? Can we compete?"
So well said. It requires some soul-searching to find the answers to these questions. Whenever I drive myself crazy trying to "compete," I end up feeling exhausted, frustrated, unromantic, and even more down on myself than I did to begin with. But golly (did I just say golly?), it's really tough to pull out of the competition.
Three thoughts have helped me learn to value simplicity.
First, I was reading about the Mosaic Law in the Bible Dictionary, and it said that many of the Jews began to make the law more complicated than it really was. They would add more requirements and, by doing so, actually took themselves farther away from the Lord. Really, we aren't required to do more than love the Lord, our families, and our neighbors and do the best we can. Why do I make it more complicated?
Second, I love this quote (again, from Perfect Madness), "The more women bought into the crazy competitiveness of our time, the more they tended to suffer as mothers. Those who, in one way or another, managed to step outside of the parenting pressure cooker tended to have a greater degree of peace of mind and to mother with a greater level of sanity." So I remind myself that I am really happier when I don't try to compete.
Third, I was painting my bathroom one night, and I was listening to a talk about stress reduction on the BYU Broadcasting website. The speaker suggested that in order to feel less stress, we need to realize that we will not always be the best at everything. I remember my stomach churning when she said that. I thought, "I am not going to settle for mediocrity." But then I started asking myself those hard questions. Do I really know that I am enough? Do I know that I matter?
It all comes down to that. This book I'm reading does suggest some ways to stop the "madness" going on in the mommy world, but the suggestion that was not in the book was to come unto Christ. The reason He is the solution is because when we come to Him, we know we are enough. We know that we matter. I feel so special every day. Not because I do anything great, but because the Lord gives me His love. I know He feels that love for all of us. We need to believe Him and have faith in Him, and he will help us to know our worth.
And now, off to bed!
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